The Valley of Wait

Guest Post from Taffney L.

Valley:

Noun – an elongated depression between uplands, hills, or mountains, especially one following the course of a stream.

Noun – any place, period, or situation that is filled with fear, gloom, foreboding, or the like: the valley of despair.

When my husband and I decided to grow our family, we were living in the Valley of Wait.  Wait two weeks to see if this is finally our month.  Wait two weeks to try again.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.

This valley was a very lonely and isolating place filled with feargloom, and foreboding.  No matter what we did, we just couldn’t make it up the mountain that was in front of us.  It seemed as though everyone around us climbed that mountain with such ease.  Yet we waited in the valley month after month.

Here is our story…

We tried for over two years to get pregnant.  This is not long compared to many, but it was long enough for me to know the pain of infertility.  After about a year of trying, we sought out a specialist and began testing.  We came to find out that we were dealing with male factor infertility.  However, I was technically the “patient” since I was the one to be pregnant.  The doctors prescribed pills and injections to help me release more eggs (more eggs, more chances).  We went through three rounds of Intrauterine Insemination (six inseminations).  All failed.  We were then told we would not get pregnant without In Vitro Fertilization.  Through lots of prayer and discussion, we decided we would not pursue IVF.  This was the hardest thing for me to accept.  Having to come to terms with the fact that we would not be parents was near impossible, but we felt that God did not want us to do anymore treatments.  He had other plans for us.  In December 2015, we found out we were pregnant with our miracle baby.  Our daughter is now 6 months old.

On days when the valley felt especially long, I was reminded that God has called me to be a strong warrior during the times of waiting.  He is my help and my shield.  I could let go of the fear, gloom, and foreboding and rejoice in Him.  I had hope, because I trust in His holy name. (Psalm 33:20-22) I trusted He would use this time of waiting for my good and His glory.

All that waiting sure wasn’t easy, but I look back and give thanks for my time spent in the valley of wait.  Now I can help other women as they navigate their own valley.

Everyone’s cause of infertility is different.  The treatments we do, or don’t do, are different.  Still, we all have the same desire for a child in our hearts.  During our time spent in the valley, I wished over and over I had someone to talk to and to ask questions.  I was thankful no one I knew was going through infertility, but that also made me feel even more isolated.  Now I am using our journey so that no other women feel alone.

If you have any questions about the infertility journey, are interested in a local infertility support group, or you just need to say “this is awful!” on the hard days, I would love to connect with you! Please email me at group.taffney@gmail.com.  And always remember that you are not alone in your valley of wait.

 – Taffney

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