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Don’t Let Go

As I am laying in bed next to my 3-year old so that he will fall asleep I cant help but miss the days when he was an infant and wanted to cuddle with me all of the time. I reflect on how my baby boy isn’t a baby anymore and is growing up. As I start to maneuver my arm off of him and attempt my way out of the bed, a hand reaches over and grabs my arm and he says, “Mommy, don’t let go.”

I am reminded of one of those million times that people say to hold on to these moments because they don’t last. Each time they say that, I always smile, nod in agreement, and move on, because really it needs to speed up so I can finally get some sanity and peace, and maybe just get something done, right? At this moment I finally got it. I finally understood what they meant. My son wanted me next to him, not to let go, and to just be there in that moment. How much longer will he want that from me?

Each day my kids get older, and each day they need me less and less. Yes, that is something you hear everyday, and yes, I agree it gets really old and annoying after the 10th time hearing it, but think about who you hear it from. You hear this wisdom from those moms and dads that no longer have the little ones running around and remember what it is like for the time to fly by and possibly not appreciate all that you had in that moment.

Today is “No Housework Day”. What does this mean? It means take a step away from the day-to-day tasks, the “job” of motherhood, and really enjoy this day. Those who have a job they go to get vacation days or days off in some way. You deserve a day off. Maybe you still need to be a mom and a wife, but the laundry can wait, the dishes will be there tomorrow. Savor the time you have as a mom today and really enjoy just being with your kids or even just taking some time to do something that will take your mind off the day-to-day housework chores. Sit, and don’t let go.

Enjoy letting go today,

Amy

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Mom Dating, It’s A Real Thing

Life after having a baby changes things, as I’m sure we can all agree. While you may stay close with your pre-kids friends, you may now find yourself seeking the friendship of other women who are in the same stage of life as you. But what do you do when your girlfriends either haven’t had kids yet or have older kids that are in a different stage? When this happens, it may be time to put yourself out there a bit.

I look back at the first playdate I had with my now best friend, and I just laugh, because it was a complete disaster! I was very pregnant with my second child and I had invited her over along with her 2 young kids. Our 2 years olds were playing so nicely in my son’s room and we were busy chatting and getting to know one another.

After 10 minutes of quiet we decided to check on them, only to discover they had snuck out of my son’s bedroom and were in my bathroom covered from HEAD-TO-TOE in bright green Irish Springs body wash. Oh, and let me also mention they had decorated the ENTIRE bathroom; mirror and all in the body wash.  Oh how I wish now that I had a picture of it all, lol.  Needless to say we were both mortified. Our green gooey children now realizing they were caught and started wailing at the top of their lungs. This only added to the chaos. Our darling angels had never done anything like this before, so of course we were both secretly blaming the other kid.  My kid of course would NEVER do such a thing on his own.  I fumbled around and said I’d clean everything up, while she grabbed her green gooey child, muttered “I’m sorry” and headed out the door. Thankfully neither of us let this disastrous first date end our friendship. 6 years later, all four of our kids are now the best friends just like their moms, and we can easily laugh about this first mom date fail.

If you’re still trying to find your group of friends, don’t give up! There are so many ways to find close friends to do life with. It may take a little extra effort & time on your part, just like it did when you were first dating. Here are a few ideas:

  • Mommy & me yoga, music or gymnastic class.
  • Local libraries often have story time and other activities designed for moms to bring their babies and meet other moms
  • Some local churches offer a MOPS program or women’s studies that cater to moms and typically provide childcare
  • Work out classes that allow you to bring your child(ren)
  • Local moms Meet Up network
  • Playgrounds – introduce yourself to another mom with a child around the same age
  • Local Facebook parenting groups
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The Valley of Wait

Guest Post from Taffney L.

Valley:

Noun – an elongated depression between uplands, hills, or mountains, especially one following the course of a stream.

Noun – any place, period, or situation that is filled with fear, gloom, foreboding, or the like: the valley of despair.

When my husband and I decided to grow our family, we were living in the Valley of Wait.  Wait two weeks to see if this is finally our month.  Wait two weeks to try again.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.

This valley was a very lonely and isolating place filled with feargloom, and foreboding.  No matter what we did, we just couldn’t make it up the mountain that was in front of us.  It seemed as though everyone around us climbed that mountain with such ease.  Yet we waited in the valley month after month.

Here is our story…

We tried for over two years to get pregnant.  This is not long compared to many, but it was long enough for me to know the pain of infertility.  After about a year of trying, we sought out a specialist and began testing.  We came to find out that we were dealing with male factor infertility.  However, I was technically the “patient” since I was the one to be pregnant.  The doctors prescribed pills and injections to help me release more eggs (more eggs, more chances).  We went through three rounds of Intrauterine Insemination (six inseminations).  All failed.  We were then told we would not get pregnant without In Vitro Fertilization.  Through lots of prayer and discussion, we decided we would not pursue IVF.  This was the hardest thing for me to accept.  Having to come to terms with the fact that we would not be parents was near impossible, but we felt that God did not want us to do anymore treatments.  He had other plans for us.  In December 2015, we found out we were pregnant with our miracle baby.  Our daughter is now 6 months old.

On days when the valley felt especially long, I was reminded that God has called me to be a strong warrior during the times of waiting.  He is my help and my shield.  I could let go of the fear, gloom, and foreboding and rejoice in Him.  I had hope, because I trust in His holy name. (Psalm 33:20-22) I trusted He would use this time of waiting for my good and His glory.

All that waiting sure wasn’t easy, but I look back and give thanks for my time spent in the valley of wait.  Now I can help other women as they navigate their own valley.

Everyone’s cause of infertility is different.  The treatments we do, or don’t do, are different.  Still, we all have the same desire for a child in our hearts.  During our time spent in the valley, I wished over and over I had someone to talk to and to ask questions.  I was thankful no one I knew was going through infertility, but that also made me feel even more isolated.  Now I am using our journey so that no other women feel alone.

If you have any questions about the infertility journey, are interested in a local infertility support group, or you just need to say “this is awful!” on the hard days, I would love to connect with you! Please email me at group.taffney@gmail.com.  And always remember that you are not alone in your valley of wait.

 – Taffney

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Choosing the Perfect Pediatrician

Prior to becoming a parent, one of the important decisions you will need to make, is to choose a pediatrician.  Upon first thought, you may think this is going to be an easy task, right?  Thanks to the internet you can look up local pediatricians in our area and find quite a lengthy list of options to choose from.  And if you ask on local Facebook moms groups for a pediatrician you’ll more than likely be given a long list of options as well.  The problem though, is that not all pediatricians are the same with the same ways of doing things.  Each one has a different personality and passion.  They all have different views and ways of handling things like vaccinations, antibiotics, introducing foods, & growth.  How far away from your home and/or work are they located?  What is there approach on breastfeeding and formula feeding?  Some practices provide a small staff of doctors which allows for more individualized care; while larger practices often provide more options for evening and weekend appointments.

In the same way it’s important to find a doctor or midwife during your pregnancy that aligns with what’s most important to you; it’s just as important to choose a pediatrician that aligns with how you plan to parent.  There are many decisions as parents that you will have to make that not everyone is going to agree with, and THAT’S OKAY.  Guess what, you will never please everyone….you just won’t.  Do your research, talk to your partner and make decisions based off of your own convictions and beliefs.  Then choose a pediatrician who respects you as a parents and most closely aligns with what you need and what’s important to you.  We’ve created this list of questions to use in your quest for the perfect pediatrician.

Click here to download your Pediatrician Questionnaire now.

Helping you navigate through these choices, as you discover your parenting philosophy is something we love to do.  As always, we are here to support you on this parenthood journey and if we can help don’t be afraid to ask.