Life after having a baby changes things, as I’m sure we can all agree. While you may stay close with your pre-kids friends, you may now find yourself seeking the friendship of other women who are in the same stage of life as you. But what do you do when your girlfriends either haven’t had kids yet or have older kids that are in a different stage? When this happens, it may be time to put yourself out there a bit.
I look back at the first playdate I had with my now best friend, and I just laugh, because it was a complete disaster! I was very pregnant with my second child and I had invited her over along with her 2 young kids. Our 2 years olds were playing so nicely in my son’s room and we were busy chatting and getting to know one another.
After 10 minutes of quiet we decided to check on them, only to discover they had snuck out of my son’s bedroom and were in my bathroom covered from HEAD-TO-TOE in bright green Irish Springs body wash. Oh, and let me also mention they had decorated the ENTIRE bathroom; mirror and all in the body wash. Oh how I wish now that I had a picture of it all, lol. Needless to say we were both mortified. Our green gooey children now realizing they were caught and started wailing at the top of their lungs. This only added to the chaos. Our darling angels had never done anything like this before, so of course we were both secretly blaming the other kid. My kid of course would NEVER do such a thing on his own. I fumbled around and said I’d clean everything up, while she grabbed her green gooey child, muttered “I’m sorry” and headed out the door. Thankfully neither of us let this disastrous first date end our friendship. 6 years later, all four of our kids are now the best friends just like their moms, and we can easily laugh about this first mom date fail.
If you’re still trying to find your group of friends, don’t give up! There are so many ways to find close friends to do life with. It may take a little extra effort & time on your part, just like it did when you were first dating. Here are a few ideas:
- Mommy & me yoga, music or gymnastic class.
- Local libraries often have story time and other activities designed for moms to bring their babies and meet other moms
- Some local churches offer a MOPS program or women’s studies that cater to moms and typically provide childcare
- Work out classes that allow you to bring your child(ren)
- Local moms Meet Up network
- Playgrounds – introduce yourself to another mom with a child around the same age
- Local Facebook parenting groups