I BLAME IT ON THE DOULA: DADS AND DOULAS

Anonymous Guest Post

My husband is an amazing man. He works hard to provide for our family. Showing me he loves me every day, he brings me coffee in bed, reads stories to our children, cooks, and even does his own laundry on occasion. He is a wonderful father, not just to the daughter we created together but also to my other children. They know he loves them fiercely.

It was difficult for him to understand why I wanted to invite a virtual stranger to one of the most intimate events of our life, but he knew better than to argue with me when I had my mind set on something.

I hired a team of doulas while he was away on business. They were like friends and confidants all throughout my pregnancy and they will always have a special place in my heart. He didn’t meet either of them until I was in labor. I called as soon as I was sure things were happening because I wanted support from the very beginning. The doula on call came right away.

When I think back to the day our youngest daughter was born, I can not imagine feeling more connected to my husband or more supported by him, but he swears he owes it all to our doula.

She showed him how to touch me and where I may want to be touched.

When I seemed to be out of my mind, she reassured him all was well and normal.

Our labor doula stayed with me so he could take time out to recharge his batteries, eat without eating in front of me (my doctor didn’t feel that I should eat during labor and I decided this was okay with me), and check on our other children.

When complications arose, she helped us gather the information we needed to make the right decisions for us.

Experienced, our doula had attended many births at the hospital we were at. She knew where the warm blankets were and the fastest way to the kitchen for water and ice chips. She had positive professional relationships with the hospital staff and was even able to assist the nurses

and doctor (at their request) when they needed an extra hand. These were things a partner might normally be asked to do but because we had a doula, he remained focused on me completely.

Our doula’s gentle suggestions and reminders kept me in good spirits, my bladder empty, and my body hydrated.

She took the only photos we have of the day our daughter was born, perfectly capturing us both as we met the person our love had created.

I fell so much deeper in love with him that day. He gave me all of him. I will never forget looking deep into his eyes during the really hard parts and feeling like I could reach out and touch the love between us.

My memories of that day have gotten us through some tough times over the years.

He was able to give his all to me because of the reassurance our doula gave him, the breaks he was able to get to care for himself, and confidence he had with her guidance and encouragement.

Our daughter is 4 now but when I bring up the incredible support he provided that day, he squirms a bit, gets a little gleam in his eye, and says “I blame it on the doula.”